Liberating the Helpers

 

 “If you have come here to help me you are wasting our time. If you have come because your liberation is bound up with mine, then let us work together. “  Quote by Lilla Watson

 

Good intentions have led to lives of service for educators, nurses, doctors, and caregivers. Yet obstacles can lead to wrecks and wastage on the pathway between having a good intention and making a difference for someone else.  This quote says the pitfall lies in the need for liberation. What does Watson mean by liberation?  Liberation from what?

 I think the answer starts with the genesis of the good intention to help.  Those who help can be motivated by ego. Hunger for social approval signals a deeper need for connection to others.  Yet the act of helping creates a rift between the helper and the one who is helped. Helping can be an act of “othering” dividing a helper from someone in need. Helpers need liberation from the egos that wall them off from the people they have sworn to serve.  The liberation of the carer lies in listening and connecting and finding common humanity, but the ego prevents this.

 It only seems like there is no time to listen.   We are not that helpless  Being present does not take more time, it takes more heart.  Removing the façade of authority and invulnerability is an act of courage.  Lilla Watson thinks this courage is indispensable because without it we are wasting time.  We all need the liberation that is found in our common humanity.  Helpers cannot help unless they practice the art of presence.

 

 David Bishai is Clinical Professor and Director of the University of Hong Kong School of Public Health

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